
Not long ago, someone asked me:
“If my back pain is emotional… then who, exactly, is angry?”
It’s a great question.
Because for most people, it’s not the rational adult part of you that’s upset.
It’s the part that never got to grow up.
We’re taught to see pain as purely physical. But centuries of psychology—and decades of neuroscience—tell us otherwise: emotion and physiology are deeply entangled.
Dr. John Sarno called it Tension Myoneural Syndrome—a theory that emotional pressure can restrict blood flow to muscles and nerves, producing real, burning pain.
Not imagined. Not malingering.
A nervous system trying to say:
“Something’s wrong. Please listen.”
Modern neuroscience backs this up.
Your anterior insula—one of the brain’s key pain hubs—lights up during physical injury, emotional distress, even heartbreak.
Same with the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC). It doesn’t just register pain—it interprets it. Decides if it’s dangerous. Decides if it matters.
And when those regions get sensitized by stress—grief, rage, fear—the nervous system begins treating even harmless signals from the back as threats.
That’s how emotional tension turns into physical pain.
So you don’t rage at your parents. You don’t snap at your partner. You don’t collapse at your desk.
But your back does.
Because the child inside you still wants to be heard.
It flares when your mother visits.
Spasms after a quiet but devastating letdown.
Numbs out after a “win” that feels hollow.
Your body becomes the only place that will speak the truth.
Healing doesn’t start with new stretches or better posture.
It starts by asking:
“What is my body trying to tell me?”
When I guide someone to this realization, it’s not therapy. It’s clarity.
And usually, a thought surfaces:
“I’m tired of always doing the right thing.”
“Nobody ever checks if I’m okay.”
“Maybe I just want to quit.”
These aren’t escape plans.
They’re truths that finally want to be seen.
And once they are—once they’re felt and acknowledged—the body can stop using pain as a shield.
Most chronic back pain isn’t mechanical.
It’s emotional.
Letting your inner child speak might not make logical sense at first. But ironically, it often makes the pain disappear faster than any stretch or surgery ever could.
That might sound like weakness, but it’s actually deep wisdom.
Because sometimes the smallest voice—the one you buried long ago—is the only one that can finally set you free.
Sources:

Harvard researchers found that most spinal changes seen on MRI scans—disc bulges, degeneration —appear just as often in people without pain. These are normal signs of aging, not proof of damage. The true driver is often the brain’s over-protective alarm system.

When I first spoke to Valentina, she was exhausted. Not just from her pain—but from the cycle of chasing relief and always ending up back where she started.

One day, you bend down to pick up a sock and your back goes out. You’re in agony. You miss work. You can’t sit, can’t sleep, can barely explain it. A doctor orders imaging. You hear vague language about a bulging disc or “degeneration.” Maybe you get a shot. Or pills. You’re told to rest.
You’ve fought hard and tried it all, but the burden was never yours to carry forever. Your brain is ready to reset, your body to feel safe again. Pain is not who you are - it’s time to reclaim your life.